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Friday, February 18, 2011

Unexpected Night


Confused,dismayed, on how things turned out..My bad, I guess..I deserved to be punished right?..I didn't expect that he'll talk it out loud..Past memories kept, begun popping up..Running through my head over and over again..Dunno what to react for what I've heard..Bottled emotions was unveiled just now..Now I know what your thoughts through all those years..I have to be strong to face my fear..To seek the truth that I've been waiting for so long..My heart was beating so fast, sweat falls down on every part..I can't look at him straight in the eye..Afraid me, just stumbled apart..But the truth is, I can't feel nothing at all..No regrets, no remorse, no bitterness just plain happiness..For at last, the truth will now set me free..After all those doubtful years, I'm now relieved!:D

My Birthday Wish last Nov. 27, 2010 (late post)

Heavenly Father, 
My only wish for this day is good health..I do hope I'll continue to live a life not too short and not too long..I do have many plans to accomplish and I'm still on the process to make it happen..I sincerely ask for forgiveness for not attending the mass this morning..I should have done that before going to the convention..I know you know every details of my 20 years of existence here on Earth, so I can't really lie to you..I hope you'll forgive me for all my sins..I know I've done a lot and I always regret it at the end of the day..I'm not perfect but I'm trying so hard to be one yet I really can't..Maybe someday I can be one..I won't lose hope and my faith in you still remains until my demise..I know deep in myself I can change what habits I've been used to..It's hard breaking all the flaws I have but I only need courage to make things right..Please guide me all my way through to my journey to life...


P.S. I Love You with All my Heart!:D

Friday, November 5, 2010

le coup de foudre - The Lightning Bolt



(The odds of being hit by le coup de foudre are small, but at least it's not the only way to find true love)

We live in a world of instant gratification and that often means we end up being less satisfied.
Fast food doesn't compare to a meal that took hours to prepare.
Ready-to-wear clothes never fit as well as those that are hand tailored.
So just because a relationship takes some work on the parts of both people to  come together, it doesn't mean that it is filled with any less passion than one that sparked at a first glance.
In the long run, it may actually provide a lot more heat than a relationship that starts off quickly but then peters out just as fast as it began.


ℒℴѵℯ that detonates like an exploding star

can disappear into the cosmos just as quickly.

Love that grows slowly may never burn 

quite as brightly as a supernova,

but it may deliver more energy over the long run.

Remember:It only takes a little spark 

to start a raging forest fire.


->from the book of Dr. Westheimer --"52 Lessons on Communicating Love"

Monday, November 1, 2010

Foolish You



You fooled me once
You fooled me twice
But you can never
Fooled me thrice

It's over and done
So let it be
You can never hold me
For it was our destiny

I loved you once
I loved you twice
But I can't love you
For the third time

Now the feeling's gone
I don't owe you one
Don't make a m0ve
Cause its useless now

Deception



I felt so hopeless for a moment
Sick and reluctant in wilderness
Captured in delight of a stranger felon
Troubled and deceived by his act of kindness

One moment of silence
He was calling my name
And when I glanced
He was dead and gone

Loving From a Distance



I have loved you for so long
Yet my heart can not speak
Tongue tied and coward
Over those years

To remain silent
Was my only ch0ice
For I believe, someday
I would win your heart back

Showing no m0tive
Was a plain excuse
To keep you forever
Even if it hurts so good

I've been trying to tell you
What my heart desires
But I fall apart
Even before I start

The Reader



A movie that is beyond your imagination..Truly inspiring and challenging.."It is an excellent work of art"--a story of deeper understanding of one's self--of reasoning and a different kind of love..It is a film that awakens the need of education, literacy.  Giving us a more sensitive and provocative observation about the characters  gestures..Knowing the idea of a person's judgment based on what they have witnessed. 0nly those wh0 knew can understand what is to be underst0od..Another film that really m0ved my heart...

I've seen this film a couple of times but it definitely makes my cry. What a lovely story after all…Every time I watch this movie, I always put myself in the sh0es of the character so I can feel the emotions that was kept inside. Too much of its mixed bottled emotions makes my tears fall rapidly..

I pity her (Kate Winslet) for being an illiterate and coward but I admire her for being strong and persistent. Achieving something that she desirably wants to have is the greatest deed she have done--Learning the ABC and read on her own. Though it was too late for her to learn all those things, at least she have tried hard enough before she died.

Lesson:
Being illiterate must be understood by the crowd and share to them the knowledge that we have. We don't have to laugh at their ass but instead we have to help them to have a normal life. Literacy is also not an excuse to live a happy life. If you want to have a successful life continue to dream big and achieve that dream. Don't be a coward and be strong to surpass every challenges in your life. 

Passing by



Thought of you
Slip on my mind
Can't rec0gnize
H0w you capture mine

Undying love
Is what you ask
Forbidden
Imp0ssible task

The Irony of Love

Have you ever been swept away by someone wh0m you thought is the ONE? Maybe YES or maybe NO...Whatever your answer is, I can definitely tell that once in your life you've fallen for someone so deep yet your mind is too blind to admit..Am I right?..The probability is high 'coz we love unconditionally and follow what our heart dictates…

But the more painful part is when you love someone who doesn't love you back..Isn't it stupid? YES, it is indeed stupid. That stupidity will lead us  to a disease called  martyr-complex syndrome, loving a person even if it hurts so much. Though it's hard to get away with it, we have to. Sometimes we need to think of ourselves --our own happiness...

Falling for someone who doesn't pay you back in return is another  way of finding true love..Do you agree? I don't agree but for some it is. Others say "The more it hurts, the more you love"…Yeah it is definitely love if it affects you, torn you and kill you. But seeing the one you love, loving another woman/man is not a good reason to hold on to. We have to let go of that person and set him/her free 'coz it's the right  thing to do. It's better to reminisce that moment that sometime in your life you find the ONE but eventually you let go of him/her. At least you've given your best to love him/her even if you get less in return…What matters most is that you have loved unconditionally...

It drives me crazy when I'm in love and it kills me after the excitement was g0ne. It feels like I'm underneath the earth, helpless and empty yet after a decade I'm on a hunting game again searching for an0ther beast to tame and take me d0wn when he finds an0ther mate..Silly as it can be but that's the reality. I guess it was not love at all--It was only an INFATUATION... 

Friday, October 29, 2010

The Capture of the Green River Killer




Yesterday I can't sleep so I went downstairs and turned the TV on. Luckily, I found a nice movie to watch and the title was eye-catching. Since I love crime films, I decided to entertain myself watching it. So the film is a 2-part movie that tells the story of the notorious Green River Killer who murders young prostitutes from time to time in the late 1980's. It is based on Sheriff David Reichert's book, Chasing the Devil: My Twenty-Year Quest to Capture the Green River Killer

This movie revolves mostly on the two characters "Helen" Remus and Detective "Dave" Reichert. Helen is a young girl who runaway from home to escape from her mother's boyfriend and became a prostitute later on. She died on the last part and was the first victim whom the killer faced while strangling her to death. Detective Dave is a very hard-working county officer who works with the murder case for 19 years and as a leader of the team he didn't let go of the case and never bring down the victims and their family. He tried his best to capture the serial killer "Gary" Ridgway until he reach the end.

It was a not-so-good film but it caught my interest. Finding the real killer was so hard for them due to lack of evidence. Detective Dave was right that he can't simply put a man behind bars for a single lie. There must be a preponderance of the evidence to prove that their accusations were right. The ultimate mistake he did was an act of negligence. He overlooked a single clue that will lead to them to the true murderer. That's the reason why it took them 19 long years to capture the serial killer.

Obsession in sex  was the root of the killer's idea to kill young prostitutes. Since they can be bought, he can simply take away their lives and throw their bodies in the river because no one will care if they die. But his assumption was wrong, 'cause the authority cares much about the victims and they want justice for them. Gary killed 71 women..What a record-breaking kills!!!hehe:D..The killer was wise though and he really don't want to get caught but there's a saying "everything comes to an end" and he paid the price with no chance of parole...

The Beginning of the End



History repeats itself once again. The thought of it was stuck on my mind. Preventing it was a healthy choice but my stubborn mind let things flow as it should be--letting him the very idea of hurting me once again. As November approaches, there are judgments I can't barely get out of my head. Judgments that taking possession over me and  invade in it for a long period of time. Refraining from it was as hard as breaking your own rule. It will eventually lead me into something I only fear--losing you...

So my only escape from all this illusions is to cry for a moment, laugh for a while and shout out loud the reason of not having what was desired. I've realized that I should not mourn nor weep. For I've met someone worth to keep and discovered that  "true beauty will always be essential in its true face." Your feign identity will always reside in your weak soul and will eat you up 'til you lose control.  

Unexpectedly, I found myself concealed in my own sanctuary. Searching for a light at the end of the pathway, seeking for truth and catching happiness, asking for vengeance for the intolerable pain you've caused. Then results seed to too much grudges and resentment that lies underneath this cloak. 


Memories from the past just popping up
Entangled and attached to a melancholic past 
Now that the end has come
It's the perfect time to reflect upon
To decide what's right
And illegally out of bound
To leave you now
And follow my heart...→♥

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Seven Pounds


What an interesting story of an act of kindness..A very unique masterpiece from a perspective of a mere human being who tried hard enough to touched the lives of the people he barely even knew..I consider this as a remarkable film that really captures my heart and left me with great values to ponder on..As I watched the film, I feel every pain and sorrow that the character portrays..It feels like I'm actually taking Will Smith's part..Especially in the last part wherein he gave his heart to Emily..My heart was rapidly beating at that moment and I can't hardly breathe and tears kept on fallin' on my cheeks..I was definitely moved..

This movie depicts something that will truly open our eyes to see the beauty of LIFE..Every situation has a different story to tell and each story communicates to us, for us to seek beyond the visions of our naked eye..In this film, each and everyone of us must realize now--to know our "purpose" in life and do what we ought to do..There's no room for mistakes and we only have one life to live so make the most of it..Do something good to others and treat yourself right..Be the best in everything and soar high..Never back down and continue to grow..Lastly, moved on and spend time wisely..Most of us neglect small little things in life and focus on the big ones but at the end of the day we found ourselves creeping back to our true self..Enjoy life!:D

IN BITTERNESS LIES


Jealousy is a sickness
It is built from within
The root is obsession
Leading to insanity blame

How terrible it is
Living with no peace
Just full of hatred
And a feeling of grief

Unfaithful you
Caused so much strain
Punishing this heart
In crucial pain

Darkness prevails 
In its deceiving face
How can I escape
From your intellectual claims

Only you is the cure
To set a man's soul free
An act of confession
Will satisfy my need

Just let me go
And let it be
This is my fate
We're not meant to be...

UNSPOKEN WORDS


Tongue tied I was when I'm with you
No words to utter 'coz I'm caught up in blue
Blank stare I can do when I'm facing you
There's no way I could ever talk to you

A hundred times I practice my speech
Yet it ended worse 'coz I can't speak
I try again to express myself to you
But you run away before I say go

I want you to feel
What my heart ought to steal
For the pain still goes on
Without you alone

I'm reckoned in despair
Feeling empty with no pair
Got nothing but words
Unspoken and cursed

Insensitive You


I hate it when you act like that. Treating me so kind but with a malicious intent deep inside. I always warned myself not to fall in your trap but here I am again falling apart. You are such a distraction in my simple life. You made my life so complicated and turn it upside down. I tried to distance myself to you but time draw us closer like magnets and glue. Now I'm confused every time I saw you. Should I say 'hello' and be nice to you or play blind as if I haven't seen you. Neither of the two. Well, I don't want to admit that I still love you 'cause the truth is I really don't. But now that you're making a move, I'm taking back all the mixed emotions I've kept and suffer the consequences of loving you once more. I actually don't get what you're up to. I'm not a psychic to know what's on your mind day and night. So puh-lease express yourself and tell me what's going on. Don't waste my time and spill out what your heart longs for 'cause I'll be waiting 'til I make you mine...

The Uninvited Weirdo


You came along like a lightning bolt striking the ground..Capturing thy hearts of my beloved ones..What a cheap excuse just to be near with them..With only one motive in mind, to steal my precious jewel..Are you desperate to have a boyfriend?..I guess you are and as far as I can see you never had a special someone..That's the reason why you're very eager enough to have one..Cry baby;) And you even tried to take over him without rethinking if you're crossing one's borders..Uh-oh bitch you're out of your league..Better turn around and go back to your jungle house..I pity you 'cause no matter what you do, everyone hates you and you will never be welcome enough in our world..Don't push any harder because you will see..I'll take you down the moment you lay your hands in my baby's body parts..